Wale Salami: Sex Is Overrated; My Thoughts On Sexless Marriages

‪#‎SaturdayBluesWithWS‬

[For 18+ only]

I know, right?

You can't believe I'm writing about such a controversial topic ba? Well, sex is like money, even though we all love it yet we avoid discussing about it in public.

I've always been intrigued about the way some married men complain that their wives don't give them enough 'shows'. I mean, is there even anything like sex hoarding?

I can't remember the last time I asked my wife for sex! Well, I guess maybe the fact that we live in different cities is a major boost. But not really!

I remember her once complaining in the early days of our marriage that I was no longer that seemingly sex 'hungry' guy who used to plead and beg her for sex, or worse still, a hug or a kiss, especially on those days when we have decided to wait till we say "I do".

Of course, she naturally thought it had to do with something about her, something she's doing or no longer doing. Maybe I was no longer attracted to her.

Women and their orishirishi dramas!

I mean, why will I go through the stress of spending my last savings to execute the wedding rites and all those other ‘useless’ stuff Africans spend money on during wedding ceremonies, if I was no longer interested in her? Will I still go ahead and deceive myself just to make society happy? Hell No!

I had to convince her that, change is a constant thing in life. And that, the things that interested me then as a younger man don't interest me again. I made her understand that even though I'm no longer a sex freak but I'm still crazily-in-love with her. And that I'd never stop ‪#‎chasing‬ her!

Yes, I used to be madly crazy about sex when I was younger. Do you know any 20-something year old who wouldn't sustain an erection when he sees a ‘hawt’ babe pass by? But experience has taught me that it's useless making hot water for tea when you're not ready to have a drink.

Apostle Paul asserted: “When I was child, I SPOKE like a child, I THOUGHT like a child, I REASONED like a child. When I BECAME a MAN, I put away CHILDISH things.”

The truth is that most married men still behave like immature boys because they haven't put away childish behaviors.

On a personal note, I think sex is overrated though! Yes, I said it and feel free to quote me.

I have gone 2 straight years without sex, before. ( That's another story for another day) And it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I can't begin to tell you about the several challenges I've had to overcome.

You see, sometimes, a man's temptation doesn't need too much speed to catch up with him because the man himself desires the temptation. 😂😆

A clown once said: "Don't lead me to temptations, Lord. Cos I know how to get there myself".

Tru, those words are real. But I guess what helped me through that season were my habits/personality. I naturally don't drink, nor club so it's difficult for me not to be sober and alert when making important decisions. And I have a strong ‪#‎core‬ that ultimately evaluate all the decisions I make, even when I'm unconscious. That's one of the trade-offs of living a ‪#‎PrincipleCenteredLife‬.

Any fool can have sex. It is one if the easiest things to do. But it takes a great deal of discipline and extra amount of self-control to overcome the urge to get down with anything in skirt, especially when you're thousand miles away from your spouse.

However, I think sex is a great thing, especially if you're married.

Singles should have no business having sex anyways, I'd advise them to go and discover their life purpose first and get a life before thinking of hooking up with a woman.

Funny, right? I know. I'm not trying to act like a saint though. Even though, I met my wife a Virgin but I wasn't even a Virgin when I met her. Yes, I've sown my fair share of wild oats. 🙈🙈🙈 But, if I have to do it all over again, I'd prefer to marry as a Virgin; it improves your bragging rights, at least. But then, that means I would have gotten married at 19. 😂

So, when it comes to ‪#‎SexlessMarriages‬, I think it has nothing to do with what your spouse is doing or not doing. It has a lot to do with what you’re doing wrong. Women are one of the most fabulous creatures ever made by God. A woman will never get intimate or have sex with a man till she's in LOVE with him, to an extent. Whereas, for a man, we don't need love to get down with a woman. Just an erection and an available empty room would suffice. Lol

My point is, if your wife ain't giving some action it means you've been‪#‎lacking‬ in some other areas. You've not been a 'good' boy to her and therefore she's witholding or hoarding sex. To be clear, I'm not one of those who support that. The Bible is clear about couples not denying each other sexually. Any smart woman knows she should never use her body as a bargaining chip for her husband. The reality is that sex is one of the‪#‎cheapest‬ commodities in the 21st century. Just take a trip to any club house close to you and you'd see wayward gals and deranged women who are willing to sell their body to the highest bidder.

However, I think a woman that is WELL TAKEN CARE OF and DEEPLY LOVED will never deprive her hubby of sex. When I'm talking about sex, I'm not talking about those boring, monotonous, pretentious, lets-get-it-over-and-done-with kind of sex. I'm talking about mind blowing, back-breaking erotica moments.

So, guys let's go back to the basics and be 'good' boys to our wives so that the sex can come without us asking for it. Let it flow!

Instead of getting yourself worked up while running around town with other women, please ‪#‎invest‬ in her and you'd be surprised at the dividends you'd reap. Most men are busy chasing other women such that they've forgotten to HOW to love their wives, to stupor.

The easiest way to ‪#‎control‬ any woman is to ‪#‎love‬ her deeply and demonstrate it with your words and actions. A woman that is deeply loved can never have an issue with ‪#‎submission‬.

Be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness. Honesty is the highest form of intimacy.

I wish you an erotica weekend. May Your Marriage Succeed!